Learning how to be a good friend goes far beyond just playing nicely at recess—it’s about teaching empathy, communication, and care for others in everyday moments. For upper elementary students, friendship can be a source of joy and conflict, making it the perfect topic to explore through intentional teaching. In this post, you’ll find practical ideas for teaching about friendship, along with engaging activities and tools to help students reflect on how they show up as friends.

Why Friendship Skills Matter in the Upper Elementary Years

By 3rd through 6th grade, students are navigating more complex social dynamics. They’re forming deeper friendships, learning to resolve misunderstandings, and starting to understand what it really means to be a kind, trustworthy, and supportive friend.

Teaching how to be a good friend during these years lays the foundation for emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, and stronger peer relationships. It gives students a shared language and framework for recognizing the traits of healthy friendships—and how to become the kind of friend others can count on.

🌟I love kicking off my friendship unit with a reflective activity called “Ingredients of Friendship.” We start with the question: What are some of the ingredients of true friendship? Students brainstorm their ideas, then create their own recipe for a true friend—or a fruity friendship salad. Afterward, we read The Fruit Salad Friend by Maria Dismondy and have a class discussion about the qualities of a good friend. It’s a fun, meaningful way to introduce the topic and center student thinking from the start.

How to Teach Friendship Skills in the Classroom

See all my Friendship Activities and Resources on TPT

1) START WITH FRIENDSHIP VOCABULARY

Before diving into activities, spend time explicitly teaching key vocabulary that helps students describe friendship behaviors with clarity and confidence. Use kid-friendly definitions and real-life examples they can connect to. Some important terms to introduce include:

Friendship: a bond or relationship between two or more people where trust, support, attachment, and enjoyment from being around one another exists
Acquaintance: a person that you know of but do not know well or yet consider a close friend
Forgiveness: when someone is able to accept another’s apology
Inclusion: to allow someone to participate or be a part of a group
Selflessness: showing concern for the needs of others more than oneself
Loyalty: giving or showing firm and continuous support for a person

Vocabulary for teaching about friendship

Encourage students to reflect on which of these traits they already demonstrate in their friendships and which ones they’d like to strengthen. Keep the vocabulary posted and refer back to it often—it serves as a shared language you can use during discussions, read alouds, and conflict resolution moments throughout your friendship unit.

2) READ ALOUD BOOKS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

Books offer powerful, relatable examples of friendship in action. Look for stories that show both the joyful and challenging sides of friendship. Here are a few favorites:

Enemy Pie by Derek Munson – a fun and thoughtful book about moving past first impressions
The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig – a great pick for discussing inclusion and empathy
Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts – a story about generosity and making tough choices for the sake of friendship

Read alouds for teaching about friendship

🌟 In my Friendship SEL Unit, I’ve included a list of my favorite read alouds and engaging videos that help teach students how to be a good friend, identify healthy friendships vs unhealthy ones, and deal with friendship challenges when they arise.

3) EXPLORE THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP THROUGH SYMBOLISM

A great way to help students reflect on the meaning of friendship is through symbolism. One powerful read aloud to spark this conversation is The Big Umbrella by Amy June Bates.

After reading, lead a class discussion with questions like:

How does the umbrella represent friendship?
What qualities does an umbrella have that show friendship or create friendliness?

You’ll often hear students mention that an umbrella offers protection, makes room for others, and doesn’t judge who it covers—just like a true friend.

Then, encourage students to think about their own friendship symbol and ask them to draw a symbol that represents what friendship means to them. Give time for students to share their symbols with the class. These visuals make a meaningful addition to your classroom community—and serve as gentle reminders of how we treat one another.

Activities for teaching about friendship in upper elementary

4) HELP STUDENTS UNDERSTAND FRIENDSHIP IS A TWO-WAY STREET

One important concept to explore early in your friendship unit is that being a good friend isn’t just about recognizing what we want from others—it’s also about thinking honestly about what we bring to a friendship ourselves. This idea might seem obvious to adults, but many upper elementary students haven’t yet made that connection. They can name what makes someone else a good friend, but they haven’t always reflected on whether they show those same qualities in return.

Opening up this conversation invites deeper thinking. Begin by having students share what they think makes someone a good friend. As responses are recorded, you’ll likely hear words like loyal, kind, funny, or trustworthy. The real power comes when you follow up with the question: “Do we expect these same qualities in ourselves as friends?” For many students, that moment prompts self-reflection in a new way.

Activities for teaching how to be a good friend

This discussion lays the foundation for helping students see friendship as a relationship built on mutual effort and shared responsibility. It shifts the focus from what we get in friendships to how we contribute—a mindset that strengthens both individual character and classroom community.

5) USE A FRIENDSHIP TRACKER FOR DAILY REFLECTION

After students begin thinking about how they contribute to their friendships, it’s helpful to give them a simple way to track those efforts over time. A friendship tracker encourages ongoing reflection by inviting students to jot down how they’ve shown kindness, helped a friend, included someone new, or practiced forgiveness each day. It shifts the focus from one-time lessons to daily habits—and helps students see the small, meaningful ways they’re growing as friends.

You can print one for each student or keep a class version. Try prompts like:

I helped someone today by…
I made someone feel included when…
One way I was a good friend today was…

Using a tracker makes the concept of friendship concrete and encourages consistency. Plus, it offers quiet moments of reflection that help students grow their social awareness.

6) REFLECT ON FRIENDSHIP QUOTATIONS

Quotations can spark powerful conversations—and friendship quotes are no exception. Thoughtful words from authors, leaders, and even other kids can help students reflect on what it really means to be a friend and to have one.

Resources for teaching about friendship in upper elementary

🌟I weave friendship quotations throughout my Friendship SEL Unit and guide students to discuss them as a group or reflect on them independently to help students build a deeper, more personal understanding of the values that strengthen friendship—like trust, loyalty, and kindness.

7) TEACH WHAT MAKES HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS VS UNHEALTHY ONES

As students build their understanding of what it means to be a good friend, it’s equally important to help them recognize when a friendship isn’t healthy. Many upper elementary students are still learning how to set boundaries, and some may not yet realize that certain behaviors—like manipulation, exclusion, or constant teasing—aren’t just “bad days” but signs of an unbalanced relationship.

Dedicating time to explore the differences between healthy and unhealthy friendships empowers students to think critically about their social experiences. Start by giving students examples of common friendship scenarios and asking them to sort each one as healthy or unhealthy. This kind of activity invites discussion and often sparks important questions.

To guide deeper thinking, choose a few “unhealthy” examples and work through them as a class. Create an anchor chart with guiding questions like:

What makes this scenario unhealthy?
How could someone respond to this situation?
When might it be best to walk away from a friendship that isn’t respectful or safe?

These conversations are not always easy—but they’re necessary. When students learn that real friendship should feel safe, respectful, and supportive, they’re more likely to advocate for themselves and others. By naming unhealthy behaviors and exploring appropriate responses, you’re giving them the tools to navigate friendships with confidence and self-respect.

8) HELP STUDENTS UNDERSTAND THAT FRIENDSHIPS CAN CHANGE

One of the most important (and sometimes hardest) lessons for students to learn is that friendships can change over time—and that’s completely normal. In upper elementary, students start to notice these shifts more often: a best friend might grow closer to someone else, a classmate might drift away, or their own interests might lead them in new social directions. These changes can feel confusing or even hurtful if students haven’t had the chance to talk about them.

🌟In my Friendship SEL Unit, I launch this conversation by asking, “How are friendships like the seasons?”. After giving students a moment to reflect and share, we often uncover thoughtful ideas about change, growth, and how some things come and go. This simple question opens the door to a deeper discussion about how friendships, like seasons, naturally shift over time—and that change doesn’t mean something went wrong. It’s a powerful way to help students normalize friendship changes and approach them with more understanding and empathy. (I also highly recommend reading aloud Big Friends by Linda Sarah and Benji Davies to help frame the discussion).

9) FRIENDSHIP COMES WITH CHALLENGES

Even the strongest friendships will face ups and downs. Whether it’s a new connection or a long-time bond, friends sometimes experience disagreements, misunderstandings, or simply grow in different directions. These moments are a natural part of friendship—and learning how to handle them can help students build stronger, more resilient relationships.

Create space for students to reflect on the kinds of challenges that can arise with both new and old friends. A class T-chart can help them visualize the differences. Then, invite students to brainstorm strategies for navigating those challenges in respectful, caring ways. As students share, jot their ideas on an anchor chart you can refer to later.

These conversations help normalize conflict in friendships and empower students with positive tools for working through it.

10) ROLE-PLAY COMMON FRIENDSHIP CHALLENGES

Once students have identified common friendship challenges, give them a chance to practice responding in healthy ways. Role-play is a powerful tool for building confidence and empathy. Use short scenarios like:

A friend leaves you out of a game
You hear a rumor about your friend
A classmate interrupts you over and over again

In small groups, have students act out how to respond with empathy, assertiveness, and honesty. Then, come back together to discuss how their responses show what it means to be a good friend—and how we can repair relationships when they hit a rough patch.

🌟 In my Friendship SEL Unit, I include printable scenario cards and discussion prompts that guide students through real-life friendship challenges. These role-play activities give students a chance to practice responding with empathy, assertiveness, and kindness—skills that are hard to master without hands-on experience. Working through tricky social situations in a safe, supported environment helps students build confidence and prepares them to navigate real friendship bumps with care and maturity.

NEED MORE FRIENDSHIP ACTIVITIES AND DONE-FOR-YOU RESOURCES FOR TEACHING FRIENDSHIP?

You can manage to do each of these activities with a reflection journal and materials you have around the classroom, but if you want some of the work done for you, you can check out my Friendship theme SEL unit. I use this unit for a 2-3 week morning meeting unit. It includes student journal pages, detailed and editable friendship lesson plans, bulletin board materials with friendship vocabulary and related friendship quotations, and Google Slides for the teacher and a digital student notebook.

This Friendship theme SEL unit is also included in the SEL Morning Meeting MEGA Bundle that contains 16 social- emotional learning themes. If you’re looking to increase your social-emotional learning focus, you’ve come to the right place!

SEL THEMES TO GUIDE YOUR MORNING MEETINGS ALL YEAR

With units focused on gratitude, empathy and compassion, growth mindset, conflict resolution and compromise, grit and perseverance, responsibility, understanding and managing emotions, and so much more, your engaging SEL or morning meeting plans are done for you and your students will love them!

If you purchase the bundle from my personal website store, you can save an additional 20% on the SEL Mega Bundle of all 16 topics with the code SEL20.